I woke up and my eyes got wide shut open. Pivu was looking at me, flattering his wings. A sudden shiver ran down to my spine, i knew that i was not breathing,there was water in my lungs. Pivu, my pet penguin, came on to me and tickle on my nose, chirping with his beak.
i don't know how long i have been here at the bottom of frozen lake. i was alive somehow. this has also happened before. my hands and legs were tied hard with rope and i was upside down. my neck was clung by rope which was fastened to huge stone at the end. i cant say how deep i am dealing with this situation. Pivu tried to help me and untie the knot by his beak. but it was too weak to open it. of course my Guru has that much prowess. Pivu crumble at my feet in vain, and finally gave up and swam away in the light.
i looked into the light my cornea did feel it, but they did not expand. my whole body was numb. am a corpse ? am i dead meat? i again looked up at light, it was shimmering through frozen ice. so the water must be cold, but why cant i feel it ? even though there was not a single piece of cloth on my body. Even i could not feel the weight of the anchor that was loaded to the neck. water current must be steering my body.
A beautiful swan swam by. he must be in search of food at the bottom of this lake. he just turned upside down once to see my face and paddled away in quest of long lasting hunger. A question stuck me again. Am i stuck in void again ? this also has happened before. suddenly i wake up and find myself nowhere. no beginning, no end but some place. I may be sleeping again, may be this is another dream or another void. but if this is a void my master, my Guru should have come here by now to rescue me from this void. But there are no signs,no vibration of his presence nearby. my dreadlocks tangled to the rope i was anchored to.
A fish came by, a beautiful fish radiant as stars, fins were glowing, eyes were sparkling but it was upside down. it touched my lips twice and ran away. i literally could not feel anything, numbness is prevalent. i think blood in my body is frozen too, no warmth, nothing. not even twitching of veins, not even bubbles of breath not even wetness of this liquid. but only truth i can contemplate is bliss. infinite bliss. i am made up of bliss. bliss has all covered me, swallowed me, poured me and caught me.
i observed something at the end of the rope, something shone in darkness like thunderbolt. those sparkles keep coming through darkness constantly and vividly. in a moment thousand thunderbolt stuck my senses, blinded me for a moment or two. i can see it now what it was. Yogiraj, smiling at me. my facial muscles moved to smile back. tears trembled down my face and collated in cold water of lake. what a peace ! ecstasy ! bliss ! i bow to Yogiraj. He nodded. His face was radiant, dreadlocks curled around scalp neatly, trident in one hand and damru in other, 'Sesa' coiled around his neck , ashes cladded Yogiraj showered blessings on me. i had no control over my tears. they were flowing down constantly. Manifestation of Yogiraj absorbed me. Now i am part of him. i am him.
He touched the rope and it disappeared. He took me in his arms. I felt the warmth of thousand suns. His blue skin was smelling fragrant intense aromatically. i cuddled him like a child grope to its mother and closed my eyes in his comfort. rope tied to my hands and calves disappeared. he floated me to surface. it was easy and delightful flight. he thrashed the ice with trident, big splash of water arose in sky. he put me down, grinned at me and vanished. now i could see the cloudless sky and sun adorned in it. With Yogiraj's presence it was so dark in background. i closed my eyes and drifted off into Yogiraj's blessings.
Strong odor of Sanjivani got cough out of me. now fresh gasp of air i can feel in my chest. i was too weak to open my eyes, ears muted, vocal chords ruptured. i could not feel my limbs yet but breathing has started. i drifted again in Yogiraj's countenance far away in universe. I could see the asteroids size of thousand earths, lush green planets like mother earth, the galaxies with hundred and thousand of suns with many comets twinkling and dazzling. the sight was just spectacular. it was mind numbingly peaceful. i was inhaling air hastily like i was starving for it. i must be in recuperator.
After millions of breaths, i opened my eyes. i was scarlet dusk drowning in starry sky. the room was filled with fresh fragrance of nightingale, Pivu climbed down through window, cuddled me and kissed me. my body was covered with blankets and warm clothes. my senses resumed functioning i guess. i could smell again, feel the foggy cuddle of my pet penguin. i could hear the conchs blown in Yogiraj's temple. the warmth of 'dhuni' was comforting my eyeballs though it was at a distance, the room looks familiar. i must be in my retiring room of Akhara. i got sudden urge to drink the water. the pitch in corner must have fresh water from lake Piyusha. i was skinny i was weak. i hardly can remember anything from my past.
A shadow got in my room. It took me a moment to recognize that face. it was bhairava, my colleague and friend.. his head was neatly shaved, saffron turban on head and ashes all over the body. He gazed compassionately and said "'namaste', its been very long my friend." i smiled. He helped me sit down on my bumps and fetch me water from the pot. He hugged me. His body was cold as ice on this Himalaya. " Just a moment, i will summon guruji", he said and left. the cold water was very refreshing. finally i can notice warm blood running down my veins, pumping heart. I tried to recall my Guru's name, but could not recall.
He came running hastily to me, sat next to me. I have seen this face several times in my dream, this face inundated with peace and eyes singing song of everlasting melancholy.He also did not have any clothes on. nobody in this akhara wear clothes because we are 'NAGA SADHUS'.
My heart flooded with love, tears came down on my face and we embraced each other. He was a beacon showing path to my fate. He was 'PINAKA BABA'. I am 'NIRMAL BABA'. Suddenly reality stuck me, and now i remember. his touch parted all doubts of clouds. it was divine embrace. a child hugging to his father. 'Bhairava and Guruji helped me to get up and they took me to dhuni, a divine fire. they poured 'Somarasa' down my throat.
All Naga sadhus, there were thousand of them, were dancing around the dhuni. A dance of Yogiraj, 'Tandava' Drum was beaten softly and rhythmically. one of the 'Baba' told me that they are celebrating my return. They were dancing intensely, waving hands to the sky, expressing gratitude to 'Siva' the destroyer for my return. generally this valley is very peaceful, but this kind of event happens for some extraordinary reasons and only on 'Mahashivaratri'. I enjoy this dance. the drum beats were taking hold of me. Siva appeared and he took me by hands and started dancing with me. I waved my hands in air. all sadhus were yelling 'panchdhwani' in unison. this dance lasted the whole night.
i don't know how long i have been here at the bottom of frozen lake. i was alive somehow. this has also happened before. my hands and legs were tied hard with rope and i was upside down. my neck was clung by rope which was fastened to huge stone at the end. i cant say how deep i am dealing with this situation. Pivu tried to help me and untie the knot by his beak. but it was too weak to open it. of course my Guru has that much prowess. Pivu crumble at my feet in vain, and finally gave up and swam away in the light.
i looked into the light my cornea did feel it, but they did not expand. my whole body was numb. am a corpse ? am i dead meat? i again looked up at light, it was shimmering through frozen ice. so the water must be cold, but why cant i feel it ? even though there was not a single piece of cloth on my body. Even i could not feel the weight of the anchor that was loaded to the neck. water current must be steering my body.
A beautiful swan swam by. he must be in search of food at the bottom of this lake. he just turned upside down once to see my face and paddled away in quest of long lasting hunger. A question stuck me again. Am i stuck in void again ? this also has happened before. suddenly i wake up and find myself nowhere. no beginning, no end but some place. I may be sleeping again, may be this is another dream or another void. but if this is a void my master, my Guru should have come here by now to rescue me from this void. But there are no signs,no vibration of his presence nearby. my dreadlocks tangled to the rope i was anchored to.
A fish came by, a beautiful fish radiant as stars, fins were glowing, eyes were sparkling but it was upside down. it touched my lips twice and ran away. i literally could not feel anything, numbness is prevalent. i think blood in my body is frozen too, no warmth, nothing. not even twitching of veins, not even bubbles of breath not even wetness of this liquid. but only truth i can contemplate is bliss. infinite bliss. i am made up of bliss. bliss has all covered me, swallowed me, poured me and caught me.
i observed something at the end of the rope, something shone in darkness like thunderbolt. those sparkles keep coming through darkness constantly and vividly. in a moment thousand thunderbolt stuck my senses, blinded me for a moment or two. i can see it now what it was. Yogiraj, smiling at me. my facial muscles moved to smile back. tears trembled down my face and collated in cold water of lake. what a peace ! ecstasy ! bliss ! i bow to Yogiraj. He nodded. His face was radiant, dreadlocks curled around scalp neatly, trident in one hand and damru in other, 'Sesa' coiled around his neck , ashes cladded Yogiraj showered blessings on me. i had no control over my tears. they were flowing down constantly. Manifestation of Yogiraj absorbed me. Now i am part of him. i am him.
He touched the rope and it disappeared. He took me in his arms. I felt the warmth of thousand suns. His blue skin was smelling fragrant intense aromatically. i cuddled him like a child grope to its mother and closed my eyes in his comfort. rope tied to my hands and calves disappeared. he floated me to surface. it was easy and delightful flight. he thrashed the ice with trident, big splash of water arose in sky. he put me down, grinned at me and vanished. now i could see the cloudless sky and sun adorned in it. With Yogiraj's presence it was so dark in background. i closed my eyes and drifted off into Yogiraj's blessings.
Strong odor of Sanjivani got cough out of me. now fresh gasp of air i can feel in my chest. i was too weak to open my eyes, ears muted, vocal chords ruptured. i could not feel my limbs yet but breathing has started. i drifted again in Yogiraj's countenance far away in universe. I could see the asteroids size of thousand earths, lush green planets like mother earth, the galaxies with hundred and thousand of suns with many comets twinkling and dazzling. the sight was just spectacular. it was mind numbingly peaceful. i was inhaling air hastily like i was starving for it. i must be in recuperator.
After millions of breaths, i opened my eyes. i was scarlet dusk drowning in starry sky. the room was filled with fresh fragrance of nightingale, Pivu climbed down through window, cuddled me and kissed me. my body was covered with blankets and warm clothes. my senses resumed functioning i guess. i could smell again, feel the foggy cuddle of my pet penguin. i could hear the conchs blown in Yogiraj's temple. the warmth of 'dhuni' was comforting my eyeballs though it was at a distance, the room looks familiar. i must be in my retiring room of Akhara. i got sudden urge to drink the water. the pitch in corner must have fresh water from lake Piyusha. i was skinny i was weak. i hardly can remember anything from my past.
A shadow got in my room. It took me a moment to recognize that face. it was bhairava, my colleague and friend.. his head was neatly shaved, saffron turban on head and ashes all over the body. He gazed compassionately and said "'namaste', its been very long my friend." i smiled. He helped me sit down on my bumps and fetch me water from the pot. He hugged me. His body was cold as ice on this Himalaya. " Just a moment, i will summon guruji", he said and left. the cold water was very refreshing. finally i can notice warm blood running down my veins, pumping heart. I tried to recall my Guru's name, but could not recall.
He came running hastily to me, sat next to me. I have seen this face several times in my dream, this face inundated with peace and eyes singing song of everlasting melancholy.He also did not have any clothes on. nobody in this akhara wear clothes because we are 'NAGA SADHUS'.
My heart flooded with love, tears came down on my face and we embraced each other. He was a beacon showing path to my fate. He was 'PINAKA BABA'. I am 'NIRMAL BABA'. Suddenly reality stuck me, and now i remember. his touch parted all doubts of clouds. it was divine embrace. a child hugging to his father. 'Bhairava and Guruji helped me to get up and they took me to dhuni, a divine fire. they poured 'Somarasa' down my throat.
All Naga sadhus, there were thousand of them, were dancing around the dhuni. A dance of Yogiraj, 'Tandava' Drum was beaten softly and rhythmically. one of the 'Baba' told me that they are celebrating my return. They were dancing intensely, waving hands to the sky, expressing gratitude to 'Siva' the destroyer for my return. generally this valley is very peaceful, but this kind of event happens for some extraordinary reasons and only on 'Mahashivaratri'. I enjoy this dance. the drum beats were taking hold of me. Siva appeared and he took me by hands and started dancing with me. I waved my hands in air. all sadhus were yelling 'panchdhwani' in unison. this dance lasted the whole night.
